Parenting – The Culture Mom http://www.theculturemom.com Adventures of a culture & travel enthusiast Mon, 11 Apr 2016 15:58:37 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.5 /wp-content/uploads/2015/10/icon.jpg Parenting – The Culture Mom http://www.theculturemom.com 32 32 On Traveling with Tweens /traveling-with-tweens/ /traveling-with-tweens/#respond Thu, 10 Dec 2015 15:49:21 +0000 /?p=7165 If you’ve been reading this blog, or any of my writing over on the many sites I contribute to from time to time, you know I’m a HUGE traveler and have taken my kids pretty much everywhere. From the moment they came out of my belly, they became world travelers – at first because my […]

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tweentravelIf you’ve been reading this blog, or any of my writing over on the many sites I contribute to from time to time, you know I’m a HUGE traveler and have taken my kids pretty much everywhere. From the moment they came out of my belly, they became world travelers – at first because my husband and I love to travel and refused to let parenting stop us, and then later because of my work, both as a marketer and as a travel writer.

Well, it appears that life as we once knew it has come to an end. Gone are the days where we could pick up and head to a place, expecting to have a lovely family vacation – one that involves doing new things together, indulging in new experiences and cuisine together, planning to wake up and go, go, go.

Why? One simple reason. My daughter is nearly 13. She’s not a baby anymore. She has a mind of her own. She’s independent. All she wants to do it sit around and watch Netflix on the iPad.

On a recent trip to Scranton, Pennsylvania (more on that soon), with her and my husband, I noticed the obvious change for the first time. At first I was a bit miffed – after all, we’ve been traveling successfully as a family for years and it’s a HUGE part of our lives. But I soon accepted her new ways and came to terms with what is probably the rest of our lives.

As a result, I have a few helpful tips for traveling with tweens. Note I am new at this phase, so give me a bit of legroom.

  1. Give them options. If you’re going to a museum, explain how much you’d like them to come, but if they don’t want to, it’s okay. Leave them behind with the full knowledge that they will be participating in other parts of the trip.
  2. Break up your day. If you have a packed itinerary, be sure to include time for tweens to stop and do their own thing.
  3. Plan activities with tween appeal. If you know your child likes art, plan a trip to a museum. Do things you know won’t garner complaints, as much as possible, and tell them to Snapchat pictures of where you are to their friends. Oh, and shopping. They love to shop. Find a mall or shopaholic part of town.
  4. Tweens like food. Take your kids to interesting restaurants so that they can Instagram and Pinterest beautiful images of cuisine. Go to places like Hibachi where food is prepared before your eyes, make it fun.
  5. Take time out and leave them alone. Tweens need space. I saw it so I suggested to my husband that we go for a drink. She was able to revitalize, get her Netflix fix, and come out happy afterwards.

Most importantly, accept that they’re growing up and remember how puberty was when you were younger. My daughter has outgrown certain activities – like steam train rides heading to meet Santa Claus and that is just the way it is. They have so many wonderful character traits and you can talk to them about a whole new slate of topics and take in travel through a new set of eyes. Enjoy every minute – time is ticking.

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Guest Post: Review of Flight School, The Musical /guest-post-review-of-the-musical-at-the-vital-theater-company/ /guest-post-review-of-the-musical-at-the-vital-theater-company/#respond Wed, 02 Dec 2015 13:00:30 +0000 /?p=7161 How many of us have asked ourselves if we should try to do something although everyone tells us that it’s virtually impossible? Is our will more important than our capabilities? As adults, we know what our limitations are. We can make the best decision based on our knowledge. Now think about little kids. They are still learning their limitations […]

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How many of us have asked ourselves if we should try to do something although everyone tells us that it’s virtually impossible?

Is our will more important than our capabilities? As adults, we know what our limitations are. We can make the best decision based on our knowledge.

Now think about little kids. They are still learning their limitations and capabilities and it’s impossible to make a difficult decision. What is the process to achieve a means

Flight School, The Musical

Flight School, The Musical, now playing at the Vital Theatre in NYC, will answer this question for kids, and who knows, it might solve a problem for adults, as well.

Based on the children’s book by Lita Judge, the show tells the story of a young penguin that wishes against all odds to fly. His dreams are shattered once he realizes that penguins cannot fly.  However, with the help of friends, Owl, Seagull, Pelican, and Teacher Flamingo, he achieves his dream once and for all, proving that with “enough heart everybody can fly like an eagle”.

The show demonstrates that achieving a difficult goal is not an easy process, but it’s possible. It praises teamwork and encourages us to find ways to work together and support each other, in addition to the notion that with a strong will and heart we can achieve even the impossible.

The four friends of the penguin (played by Jennifer Smith) are typical characters that kids are familiar with, which make the play even more real. The Pelican (played by Owen Beans) is an over confident bully, who tells the penguin the truth: “Penguins don’t fly”; the Seagull (played by Clint Hromsco) is a very funny character, who admires the Pelican and follows him; the book smart owl (played by Alie B Gorrie) is friendly and supportive; and the lovely teacher (played by Ashtia Jewell) is even sweeter in real life. We met her after the show when the actors came out to indulge the kids in autograph-signing.

My kids couldn’t stop laughing whenever the Seagull spoke. They loved his facial expression and his constant mentions that he “eats sushi for breakfast”!

If you or your kids are not familiar with the book, they’ll be fine and it may inspire them to pick it up after the show.

If you want to see Flight School, The Musical, hurry! It ends on December 6th. Tickets are $30.00 for regular seats and $40.00 for premium seats.

For reservations and information visit www.vitaltheatre.org or call (212) 579-0528.

The Vital Theatre Company is located at 152 West 71st Street, between Broadway and Amsterdam.

 

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My Thoughts on Motherhood & Travel /my-thoughts-on-motherhood-travel/ /my-thoughts-on-motherhood-travel/#respond Mon, 05 Oct 2015 05:11:08 +0000 /?p=7085 When my first child was born, I was working in a job that involved quite a bit of travel, for long stretches at a time. The thought of leaving her for long stretches was mind-boggling. From breastfeeding to missing the small moments, I wondered how I would manage. I lasted about a year, and then […]

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When my first child was born, I was working in a job that involved quite a bit of travel, for long stretches at a time. The thought of leaving her for long stretches was mind-boggling. From breastfeeding to missing the small moments, I wondered how I would manage.

I lasted about a year, and then I decided to go contract. I had been working in travel publishing and truly lived and breathed travel.

My second child came within a year and then I was home with two babies whose lives depended on me. It was wonderful but a challenge, and a bit of a shock, to say the least, and I went back to work relatively quickly, in the travel guide space, naturally. Over the next seven years, I would go onto work for all the major travel publishers, and when the odd work trip came about, I would embrace the time away from home but it was only going away overnight, at most.

After I started blogging in 2010, my kids were already six and seven. My career had gone highly digital, with the invention of social media and I started traveling to attend conferences and meetings, spending more and more time away from home. I always made sure I was covered back home, and it took a lot to arrange childcare, but traveling gave me my mojo back.

As much as travel impacted me before I had kids, it has impacted me even more since I had them. Since becoming an actual travel writer (with my roots in travel publishing, you can see this apple didn’t fall far from the tree), I have learned to appreciate my time away and think that it’s made me a better mom.

Here are ten ways travel has improved motherhood for me:

Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

I love my kids, but as a WAHM, there is no question that being a mom pulls me in a lot of directions. Going away gives me time to regroup, to sleep in a hotel room on my own, to breathe in, to indulge my love of travel without anyone pulling on me or complaining. Granted, when I travel with the kids, I gear my trip around their interests and needs. Getting time for myself, and being able to do the things I love, nourishes my soul and brings me back a better mom.

I can be more adventurous.

When I’m traveling with the kids, I might not be inclined to take a 6am hot air balloon ride or early excursion riding a bike down a canyon at sunrise. Once when traveling through Iceland, the only activity my kids really enjoyed was going to the geothermal pools, which was lovely, but we wanted to explore glaciers and go whale-watching. When I’m on my own, anything is possible and I can come home and share stories.

More “me time”.

When we first started traveling as a family, there was much to bring on our travels, and I remember being constantly aware of feeding and sleep schedules. There were a lot of kid-routines to manage, particularly with two kids in tow. On my own, I can read, write or best of all, sleep, on long flights. When I have down time in my hotel room, I can watch movies, chat on the phone and simply BE. When I travel on my own or in a group, it’s about me once again. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

I miss my kids while I’m away.

As much as I appreciate my time away from home, I do think about my kids and check in. We Facetime each other and I pick up souvenirs where I go, never coming home empty-handed. Their ability to carry on without me is also quite satisfying and makes me feel good about my parenting skills.

My family becomes more sufficient.

Speaking of my kids carrying on without me, it fills me with pride to know that they’re waking up and getting up and out without my presence. While my husband and sitters help out while I’m away, my kids have more responsibility when I’m not around. I always notice a change for the better when I get home.

I’m able to pursue my dreams and work on my bucket list.

Before I had kids, I used to track the places I visited. I started traveling on my own at a very young age (I first studied abroad at age 16), and seeing the world became a very important part of my life. Since having kids, I’ve been more places than I ever expected, and I’ve not had to stop.

I loosen up.

While there’s a lot of juggling to get away for a week, it’s completely possible. I leave thorough schedules and make sure everything is squared away before I leave, but I’ve also learned that while I’m away, my kids don’t have to attend every after-school activity. Things can go awry for a short period and get back on track when I get home, if need be.

I do research on where to take my kids and often I return….. with them.

Sometimes when I am investigating destinations while on assignment, I discover new places that would be ideal for our family vacations. When we go back, I have a certain sense of knowledge that enhances our visits.

People wonder how I do it.

It all goes back to the question of can women have it all? Can a mother travel and be a mom at the same time? I space my trips out and make sure I am home for everything important. I have missed a few concerts and recitals but for the most part, I’m around.

Most of all, I am a better mother for doing what I love.

My kids love the fact that I’m out there traveling the world, and I love the fact that I’m not missing out on what I love doing most.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Review: Catch Me! (Attrape-moi) at The New Victory Theater /review-catch-me-attrape-moi-at-the-new-victory-theater/ /review-catch-me-attrape-moi-at-the-new-victory-theater/#respond Mon, 30 Mar 2015 04:00:49 +0000 /?p=6780 A Saturday afternoon spent at the New Victory Theater is the perfect one for my kids and I, and this past Saturday was no exception. My daughter and I went to see the extremely creative and utterly wonderful CATCH ME! (Attrape-moi), featuring the six young talents of Flip FabriQue, an up-and-coming troupe from Quebec City, Canada, whose […]

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A Saturday afternoon spent at the New Victory Theater is the perfect one for my kids and I, and this past Saturday was no exception. My daughter and I went to see the extremely creative and utterly wonderful CATCH ME! (Attrape-moi), featuring the six young talents of Flip FabriQue, an up-and-coming troupe from Quebec City, Canada, whose members have performed with Cirque du Soleil, Cirque Éloize, 7 Fingers and more. We ventured to a 12pm show which we found full of other families with (much younger) children than my tween. But after being an avid theater-goer at the New Vic for the last five years, she knows better than to estimate by the audience’s average age. I will admit, that as a middle-aged adult, I thoroughly enjoy the New Vic’s programming, and she had no doubt she would, too.

CATCH ME! is one of those fearless, fast-paced shows that takes athleticism and showmanship to new heights in a high-flying spectacle that highlights the artists’ ( men and 1 woman) individual talents, including aerial hoop, aerial straps, banquina, juggling and trampowall, among others. Inspired by their real life story, the premise of the show is simple: 6 friends find themselves together after ten years apart and in one summer’s day, they reunite sharing stories of their time apart. But of course, no words are necessary when you can move like they can. I couldn’t help but peek at my daughter’s amazement every now and then, nor could I avoid catching the smile on the eldlerly patron in the seat next to me.

CATCH ME! (Attrape-moi) has a running time of 75 minutes with no intermission, and is recommended for everyone ages 5 and up.

General Ticket Information Tickets for CATCH ME! (ATTRAPE-MOI) at The New Victory Theater (209 West 42nd Street) are $10, $13, $18 or $25 for Members based on seat locations, with full price tickets starting at $15. Theatergoers who buy tickets for three or more NEW VICTORY shows qualify for free Membership, with benefits including up to 35-percent savings on tickets all season long, invitations to special events and unlimited free ticket exchanges. Purchase tickets online or by phone at 646-223-3010.

The NEW VICTORY box office (209 West 42nd Street) is open Sunday and Monday from 11am-5pm and Tuesday through Saturday from 12pm-7pm. For more information, visit the NEW VICTORY website.

Disclosure: I was provided with complimenatary tickets to facilitate this review, but all opinions are my own.

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Week 1: Middle-Aged Personal Training at Encore Fitness /week-1-middle-aged-personal-training-at-encore-fitness/ /week-1-middle-aged-personal-training-at-encore-fitness/#comments Thu, 12 Mar 2015 13:31:00 +0000 /?p=6739 My body changed after I had kids. There’s no explanation other than hormones, change of daily eating habits and a combination of having less time to exercise and take care of myself. For both my husband and myself, it’s real work just to get to the gym. But you know how it is, the less […]

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My body changed after I had kids. There’s no explanation other than hormones, change of daily eating habits and a combination of having less time to exercise and take care of myself. For both my husband and myself, it’s real work just to get to the gym. But you know how it is, the less you go, the lazier you get. It’s just so much easier to stay in bed for longer periods or do something else – anything else – other than working out.

But I know the importance of having a strict exercise regime, especially after enduring major health issues as I have over the past year. I also understand how precious life is and I want to be here a while.

So, it’s time to find the time. It’s time to make exercise and self-care a priority.

This is why I’m excited to be starting a weekly exercise regime with Robert Lankard, one of the two founders at Encore Fitnessa private personalized training studio located in Union Square in NYC, an easy trip from my house.

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Together Robert and I are creating an individualized program that will achieve a higher level of fitness. I’ll be documenting my progress here on my blog.

I’m truly a middle-aged, out of shape female working to make some serious changes so this is truly going to be a challenge for both of us.

This week was our first session and it was primarily to get-to-know-each-other. I found out the importance of the Foam Roll, which I don’t love but realize the importance of for the proper progression of my muscles. We also discussed the importance of nutrition and a regular work-out schedule, which I’m going to adopt while working with Robert.

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All I know is I have a lot of work to do. I sit a lot. It’s the nature of being a Marketer and Consultant. I sit in front of the computer a lot and am sedentary all too often.

I worried that after our session, I wouldn’t know what to do, but Robert immediately followed up with an email suggesting a routine to follow, with images attached as a guide. It includes hip bridges, planks, reverse lunges and quadruped and three days of activity to start with as that’s all I can handle. He is also going to give guidance on nutrition and make suggestions to my daily diet, which is welcomed advice.

Maybe when I get in better shape, I’ll actually want to work-out more.

That’s the goal.

Stay tuned to this space for the next five weeks.

Disclosure: I am receiving free personal training services from Encore Fitness NY, but all opinions are my own.

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Becoming a Shot@Life Champion /becoming-a-shotlife-champion/ /becoming-a-shotlife-champion/#comments Thu, 05 Mar 2015 01:00:47 +0000 /?p=6692 If you’ve read my blog before, you know of my passionate and fervent interest to help others. Using it and other streams over the years, I’ve raised large amounts of money for St. Jude Hospital and the Haitian Amputee Mothers Alliance. I’ve raised awareness for Every Mother Counts, Mothers 2 Mothers, Save the Children, Dress for […]

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If you’ve read my blog before, you know of my passionate and fervent interest to help others. Using it and other streams over the years, I’ve raised large amounts of money for St. Jude Hospital and the Haitian Amputee Mothers Alliance. I’ve raised awareness for Every Mother Counts, Mothers 2 Mothers, Save the Children, Dress for Success and ONE. I write over at The Broad Side and BlogHer when given the opportunity and really try to raise the bar on issues I care about, most pertaining to women and children.

Yet I am not known for this work. I’m the quiet social gooder, raising my hand but perhaps not diving in deep enough. I have been searching for a new cause, an organization that will appreciate my efforts, and I think I have found one.

After several years of watching the significant and important work of Shot@Life through fellow members of the blogging community, I signed up to attend their summit in Washington, D.C., paying my own way, hoping it would bring me in deeper. I’ve been so impressed by their social media and marketing initiatives over the years but haven’t been able to jump in on the scale I would have liked to. This trip would inform me about what they are doing, why they’re doing it and how I can help. It would be a chance to jump in on a very real level by hitting my congressional leaders to advocate to protect children in developing countries from vaccine-preventable diseases.

Shot@Life does such important work, and the first day of the conference was spent zeroing in on what they do. There are 400,000 children born in America every year. Imagine 200,000 of them dying. That’s what would happen if we didn’t access to vaccines, and that is what’s happening globaly – not enough people have access. Vaccines are the safest and most simple and cost-effective ways to save children worldwide. Immunations give chilren around the world a chacne at more “firsts” – 1st words, 1st days of school. They are more likely to celebrate their 5th birthdays, do well in school and go on to become healthy, thriving adults.

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Shot@Life raises funding in the U.S. to make this happen by working with policymakers in Washington, DC. Currently, funding is less than 1% of the total U.S. budget, but this budget saves 2.5 million lives every eyear.

After a day of learning, I ventured onto Capital Hill with other New York consituents. Several in my group were doctors, one was a nurse, one was the mother of a young girl who died from Meningitis, a preventable illness, but not one she was told to have her daughter vaccinated for. The look in her eyes went through me and stung my heart, and as a mother, our mission gained significance. We were on Hill and had real work to do.

Together we would inform our Congressman about how in other countries, mothers do not have the luxury of choice unless they walk many miles to get these vaccines. Many have witnessed the unnecessary death of tehir children under the age of 5. It only costs $20 to immunize a child and get the support they need. The campaign’s partners, UNICEF, World Health Organization, and GAVI, the Vaccine Alliance, are making this happen and their work has already contributed to a 99% reduction in polio, a 75% reduction in measles-related deaths and the introduction of vaccines for two of the most deadly childhood diseases, pneumonia and diarrhea. And the woman who had lost her child would look each congressman in the face and tell them that no mother or father should ever have to go through what she had been through.

As a mother, as a women, as an individual who believes that every person should have a chance, an opportunity, a shot at life, I feel that together, my group made a difference. When I heard that Shot@Life garnered 20 signatures from Congress on a letter to support and increase funding for critical global health and vaccine programs at the end of our day of lobbying, I was elated. Everyone who came for the summit, whether a new Shot@Life champion, had a story to tell and a voice to carry its simple but so important message.

Because that’s what it’s all about – our voices. Together, we can make a difference and change the world. I took the dive and I’m ready to swim. Stay tuned to this space.

To make a donation to Shot@Life, head here: http://shotatlife.org

 

 

 

 

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What Really Matters /what-really-matters/ /what-really-matters/#comments Tue, 15 Jul 2014 22:53:03 +0000 /?p=6018 Needless to say, as the mother of two children heading into my third surgery this year, these questions brought tears to my eyes. As I entered the operating room, and a nurse asked me my name to confirm my identity, I held out my wrist so she could check my information on my plastic band. I knew if I opened my mouth, I would erupt like a volcano.

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When you get asked questions like these, they make your heart stop:

“Do you have a living will?”

“Do you plan to donate your organs should anything happen to you?”

“Who will make decisions for you in the event you are not able to?”

Needless to say, as the mother of two children heading into my third surgery this year, these questions brought tears to my eyes. As I entered the operating room, and a nurse asked me my name to confirm my identity, I held out my wrist so she could check my information on my plastic band. I knew if I opened my mouth, I would erupt like a volcano. Standing before a room full of smart residents and doctors in a pool of tears was not my greatest desire at that moment, so I was happy when I was told I would be asleep within seconds.

It’s funny how just about a dozen years ago, life was just about me, and no one else. I was living in NYC, working in television, having the time of my life. When I met my husband, the adventure continued, only more trips abroad ensued. Life was about us and no one else.

Then one child was born, then the next. Damn, they came fast! Within seconds of their arrival, everything changed. Life was no longer about us. It became about them. As much as I’ve tried to put myself in front of them over the years, so not to forget who I was before they arrived, they are my everything.

I started this blog for that very reason. It was during a time of stagnancy. I wasn’t working and I was trying to figure things out. This blog pulled me out of dormancy and actually put me in a completely productive place in my life. I have been able to do things with my family that I never dreamed of because of this blog.

There’s always that something will go wrong during surgery, and you have to be realistic about life. The morning of my surgery, I thought about all the things I do for this family, and I wondered who would take my place in my absence…should I disappear. It was really hard to think about. I worried about my daughter and who would be with her to help explain puberty – when she gets her period, has her first crush on a boy. I worried about my son and how his development is occurring so much later than my daughter. I wondered what he’d look like with chest hair, a flat belly and long legs, none of which he has now.

My surgery was successful, really successful, and now I’m ready to embrace life like I never did before. I still complain from time to time – I’ve never been a big fan of putting my kids to bed. I like my nights. But now I don’t mind it. Not one bit. I don’t want anyone else to do it. I want it to be me.

My son actually never even wanted me to put him to bed, he preferred my husband. But now at the end of their time together each night now, I get called to his room for a good night kiss and it’s FANTASTIC.

Yep, I’m a mom. I started blogging as a mom via The Culture Mom, what this blog was called before. I realize since changing the name to The Culture Tripper, that I’ve lost a part of my soul. So, I’m bringing back The Culture Mom. The Culture Tripper was not truly meant to be. Stay tuned.

 

 

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Taking My Tween to See The Fault in Our Stars /taking-my-tween-to-see-the-fault-in-our-stars/ /taking-my-tween-to-see-the-fault-in-our-stars/#comments Mon, 30 Jun 2014 13:00:15 +0000 /?p=5977 When I interviewed the author John Green, who wrote The Fault in Our Stars, I was a bit star-struck. Here I was schmoozing with the Judy Blume of our day, and one of the other interviewers on the call asked him how he felt about that title. He admitted that being called the modern Judy Blume made him feel uneasy but also very proud. Her books dealt the tough issues of puberty and adolescence of her day and so do his. He writes so eloquently about illness, death, falling in love, breaking up and the tough choices we have to make in life.

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When I interviewed the author John Green, who wrote The Fault in Our Stars, I was a bit star-struck. Here I was schmoozing with the Judy Blume of our day, and one of the other interviewers on the call asked him how he felt about that title. He admitted that being called the modern Judy Blume made him feel uneasy but also very proud. Her books dealt the tough issues of puberty and adolescence of her day and so do his. He writes so eloquently about illness, death, falling in love, breaking up and the tough choices we have to make in life.

It was just about a month or so before the release of his film, and I could hear and feel his excitement through the phone receiver. There was no question that his imprint would be all over the movie and that it would be a faithful adaptation given his involvement. He had hemmed and hawed for so long about making it that he clearly wasn’t going to let anyone run over it.

When the movie came out, I really wanted to see it. I did really like the book, and I was quite intrigued by all the attention it was getting: “50 million dollars in one weekend!” “Bringing back girls and women to the movies I wondered if I could take my 11 year-old with me. I like films with the emphasis on females and I knew it was about young romance, one’s first love. But it’s also sad and could potentially touch an emotional chord. Was I setting myself up for disaster?

None of my daughter’s friends were allowed to go see it. As usual, I was one step ahead of all of them, and I really wasn’t letting their feelings supersede my own.

In the film, Hazel, the main character, is suffering complications from Thyroid Cancer. The truth is that…yes, I have also been suffering complications from the same illness. While mine will hopefully not progress and continue to be treatable, there is always a chance the tides can turn.

A friend of mine advised me not to take her, but the truth is that my children don’t quite understand the full picture of what I’ve been going through nor the risks involved. I had a feeling she wouldn’t connect the dots.

But when the film started, and Hazel appeared in the flesh, just as John Green created her in his beautiful story, I began to worry. Was I taking my daughter down a road of reality that she’s really to young to know about? She hadn’t read the book and didn’t really know the full story. When she found out, would she start to cry and think she was going to lose her mother?

That was not the case.

Fortunately, that wasn’t the case. While I found the story slightly depressing yet uplifting in how the two main characters embraced the life they had left on this earth, I knew the ending and shed only a few tears. Whenever I looked at my daughter in fear of reality being thrust upon her through a fictional tale of a young girl’s fight with the same disease that’s inflicted me, she looked at me in wonder. Why was I checking her out so often, she must have been thinking. Meanwhile, all I could think was how could I pick her up and whisk her out without making a stink of the reality of own condition?

The film is just as graceful and sensitive as Green’s words on the page.  I recalled lines that I read and heard them being dictated word by word.

I think that my daughter gravitated toward to the love affair that unfolds throughout the 100 minutes, and not illness and death. These are two worlds unknown to her, and there is no reason for her to know any more than she knows. I was so relieved on the walk home that our conversation quickly turned to other topics, most importantly getting ready to go away to sleep away camp.

 

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Sleep Away Camp Photos are No Lie to Me /sleep-away-camp-photos-are-no-lie-to-me/ /sleep-away-camp-photos-are-no-lie-to-me/#comments Sun, 29 Jun 2014 16:24:50 +0000 /?p=5974 “Welcome back and Shalom!” were the words we heard upon entering Camp Sprout Lake as we pulled into the long driveway off the main road. I looked back at my daughter I in the back seat, her energy emanating with excitement. Camp was truly her home away from home and she was so happy to be back.

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sleepaway camp

“Welcome back and Shalom!” were the words we heard upon entering Camp Sprout Lake as we pulled into the long driveway off the main road. I looked back at my daughter I in the back seat, her energy emanating with excitement. Camp was truly her home away from home and she was so happy to be back.

We’d come a long way since last summer when bringing her felt more akin to child abuse than anything else. As I rode the one hour, fifteen minutes to the Hudson Valley to leave her off for her one week “Taste,” she sat silently weeping in the front seat.  All the way home, I reminded myself that it was okay. You can’t expect your kids to be exactly like you. They have their own minds and this was her decision to make.

As the seven days went by, my guilt turned to relief, when every night I looked at the camp’s extensive and up to date online photo gallery and saw her smile extend as far north as humanly possible. I had never seen that look on her face before.

In the middle of the week, she emailed me and asked if she could stay for the full 3-1/2 week session. It broke my heart to turn her down, but we’d already made our summer plans and paid for another camp and big international trip at the end of the summer. We also hadn’t prepared her to spend a full month away and there was no way I could pack and get organized without her.

When I picked her up, I could feel a new vibe and I knew she was somehow forever changed. In just seven days, she became more outspoken, more vibrant, more confident, happier. The camp’s neshama and ruach had managed to rub off on her, and to be honest, she’s changed forever in the most positive way possible. My hope in sending her to a Zionist camp rubbed off on her, as well, and she came home with a new zest for Israeli music, dancing and stories about people who had an instrumental role in bringing the Jewish State to fruition.

We went back at the end of the session for Family Day, just so she could see her friends again. They were so happy to see her and the bonds she had formed in those few days were unlike any I have seen since my own childhood. We have spent much of the past few months preparing her belongings and getting what she needed on the long list together. She was literally packed and ready to go two weeks early, and that was my doing. As much as I knew I’d miss her, I was ready to see that smile again.

We dropped her off a few days ago and it was much easier than last year. There were hugs and kisses, but no tears. As a matter of fact, my daughter is so rational that when I suggested she take family photos to decorate her bunk with, she declined, adding that they would perhaps make her homesick.

There was never a question about which sleep away camp my daughter would go to. As soon as she was born, I started counting down the days until her first year at Camp Sprout Lake. As a former Young Judean and devoted member of Hadassah, I had my heart set on this one camp and looked at no others.

For my husband, the decision wasn’t as easy. He wasn’t raised going to Jewish camp, yet alone Jewish sleep away camp. As the time got closer to her departure for her one week “taste” last summer, he begrudged her going. He couldn’t understand why I would want to send my daughter away from home.

This summer he now understands. We feel ferklempt to be able to send her to a place where she is so comfortable, free-spirited and welcome. There are Israeli counselors, they have a big mitzvah project and Shabbat is a very big deal every week. They also pray before and after meals, which is not something we do at home (and something she would complain about if we did), but she doesn’t mind.

Last night was the first night he suggested we head to the camp’s online gallery to catch up on her day before me. The camp had a special Shabbat the night before and everyone at camp wore something white. She looked spectacular in the dress I had bought for it, and that smile knocked every other smile right out of the ballpark.

The pictures don’t lie

Some say that camp photos aren’t truly indicative of the sleep away experience, that they only capture the happy moments.

In my daughter’s case, these pictures don’t lie. I expect to hear great stories and for her to change even more than she did last summer. Her new memories will include sing-alongs by the campfire and camp outs in the woods. These are the experiences you get at camp, and these are the ones that stay with you forever.

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Binge Watching The Fosters /my-latest-binge-watching-with-my-tween-the-fosters/ /my-latest-binge-watching-with-my-tween-the-fosters/#comments Fri, 18 Apr 2014 03:39:39 +0000 /?p=5791 A few weeks ago, my 11 year-old stumbled into a show on Netflix called The Fosters. I'd heard of it before but had never really paid attention. We eased our way into the first episode and by its end, we were completely and utterly hooked. Hence began a week of a total binge fest in our house. My husband was away on business, so we watched two episodes a night.

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the fosters

A few weeks ago, my 11 year-old stumbled into a show on Netflix called The Fosters. I’d heard of it before but had never really paid attention. We eased our way into the first episode and by its end, we were completely and utterly hooked. Hence began a week of a total binge fest in our house. My husband was away on business, so we watched two episodes a night.

If you haven’t watched it yet, you should know that the show follows the lives of two two foster mothers (partners) that share a home with their biological son, adopted twins, and two new foster children. It follows the blended families’ ups and downs and romantic entanglements, not to mention touching on serious and controversial topics. I really appreciate watching a show that introduces my daughter to topics that other shows don’t even go near. Here are some of those topics:

– Adoption

– Foster homes

– Gay marriage (the first same-sex marriage post-DOMA on television)

– Transgender identity

– Juvenile prison

– Homophobia

– Gender stereotypes

– Racial issues

I feel so good that my daughter’s being challenged and is finally watching a piece of reality with me. We’re up to episode 12 and Rosie O’Donnell has just been introduced. She’s a source of comfort for me – someone I’ve been following most of my life. After watching the first 10 episodes on Netflix, we have been faced with having to download episodes elsewhere, finally finding them on Amazon. The second season is coming back on ABC Family and we want to be caught up.

Have you watched The Fosters? Thoughts?

Disclosure: I’m a member of the #Netflix #Streamteam and write one post a month about my experience with Netflix but I choose my own topics and all opinions are my own.

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